Parody Review – Auspice Your Kismesis by broadwayy-kanaya

Today, I am reviewing Auspice Your Kismesis by broadwayy-kanaya (lyrics at end). This song and more can be accessed for download via the archive run by homestuck-vocals.

This parody of Love Song by Sara Bareilles was posted in 2023- which is really recent! I’m impressed that the fan song and fan parody community in the Homestuck fandom is staying strong. The quality is good, I was able to transcribe the lyrics with minimal help from looking up the original lyrics- and I have auditory processing issues!

To get critical for a moment, one could choose to take this song as saying that an auspisticism is the same as a kismesissitude with an auspistice hanging around (it isn’t). However, I think it’s trying to make a specific statement, and that statement is about Kanaya’s feelings about auspisticizing for Vriska and either Eridan or Tavros as the situation was. Eridan tried to get Kanaya to auspisticize for him and Vriska and later Kanaya played mediator for Vriska and Tavros. What do these situations have in common? Vriska and kismesissitude.

This song isn’t Kanaya saying that auspisticism and kismesissitude are the same thing, it’s Kanaya saying that she’s done auspisticizing Vriska’s kismesissitudes. She’s done with it and she’s not going back to it. If you think that Kanaya’s relationship to auspisticism is similar to that of compulsory heterosexuality, like I think, then this song is essentially saying that Kanaya is rejecting compulsory heterosexuality and embracing her lesbian identity (and thus her need to blend quadrants) more fully. But that’s just my interpretation, not textual.

Moving along, I’m going to be real. I only have one real gripe with this song. It uses “auspice” instead of “auspisticize,” which is the proper verb form of auspistice. Granted, I’m willing to forgive it since not everyone knows that. If I remember correctly, it only appears twice or thrice in the comic. Very much a blink and you’ll miss it fact. So I won’t hold it against this song and I hope you won’t either.

Thanks for reading. Below is my transcription of the song lyrics. Please feel free to reach out with your thoughts on this song!

Lyrics:

Head under water and you tell me to breathe easy for a while

The breathing gets harder, even I know that

Made room for me, but it’s too soon to see

If I’m happy in your hands

I’m unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank quadrants

No easy way to want this

You mean well, but you make this hard on me

I’m not going to auspice your kismesis

‘Cause you asked for it, ’cause you need one

You see, I’m not going to auspice your kismesis

‘Cause you tell me it’s make or break in this

If you’re on your way

I’m not gonna auspice to stay

If all you have is leaving, I’ma need a better reason

To auspice your quadrants today

Today, yeah

I learned the hard way

That they all say things you wanna hear

My heavy heart sinks deep down under you

And your twisted words, your help just hurts

You are not what I thought you were

Hello to high and dry

Convince me to please you

Made me think that I need this too

I’m trying to let you see me as I am

I’m not going to auspice your kismesis

‘Cause you asked for it

‘Cause you need one

You see, I’m not going to auspice your kismesis

‘Cause you tell me it’s make or break in this

If you’re on your way

I’m not gonna auspice to stay

If all you have is leaving, I’m gonna need a better reason

To auspice your quadrants today

Promise me

You’ll turn the light off

To help me see

With daylight, my guide, gone

‘Cause I believe there’s a way

You can love me because I say

I won’t auspice your quadrants

‘Cause you asked for it, ’cause you need one

You see, I’m not going to auspice your kismesis

‘Cause you tell me it’s make or break in this

Is that why you wanted an auspice?

‘Cause you asked for it, ’cause you need one

You see, I’m not going to auspice your kismesis

‘Cause you tell me it’s make or break in this

If you’re on your way

I’m not gonna auspice to stay

If your heart is no where in it, I don’t want it for a minute

Babe, I’ll walk the seven seas

When I believe that there’s a reason

To auspice your kismesis

Today, today, yeah